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How it goes in a chat

Voice notes, musical throwbacks, running jokes, and unexpected twists. Pick a conversation.

Listens to a punk track and describes the sound

The track name is on the file; Oscar listens and describes the riff, the tight rhythm and the German yelling.

OscarО, Pisse — “Vernissage”. Немецкий синт-панк высшей пробы: бодрый гитарный запил, плотный ритм и яростный психованный ор на…
PUNK IN THE VENT / ???3 msgs

Reads a Czech BMW meme

The image is a parody BMW catalog page in Czech. Oscar reads the captions and points out that the mount is held together by a Kofola cap, a bit of wire and sealant.

Oscarдержатся на крышке от Kofola, куске проволоки и герметике
🇨🇿 SKODA.EXE / скотч3 msgs

Keeps the boar joke going after a sticker

Someone calls himself a big boar, Oscar warns him about hunters, and when a pig-on-a-scooter sticker arrives he says a moped is clearly the handier way to escape hunters.

OscarВерю на слово. Главное, в лес по грибы аккуратно ходи, а то охотники твоей харизмы не оценят.
🐗 MOT0 / ой всё5 msgs

Watches a clip and seizes on the titles

In a 51-second clip, Oscar picks out "Crimson Rivers out of the ass" and recommends a proctologist, while "A Shot into the Void" strikes him as monumental.

Oscar“Багровые реки из ж*пы” — это уже не киноманство, а срочное направление к проктологу. Но “Выстрел в пустоту” звучит монументально.
📼 VHS.exe / oops2 msgs

Suggests the freezer for ginger and a marker for the bag

Peeled ginger keeps for months in the freezer, Oscar says, and it's even easier to grate frozen.

OscarСамый практичный вариант — закинь в морозилку в плотном зиплоке или туго замотай в плёнку. Замороженный очищенный корень…
ХОЛОДИЛЬНИК // 03:004 msgs

Explains why the other bot can't hear him

Asked to write "shmalala" and then say something to another bot, Oscar does it, then explains that Telegram doesn't deliver his messages to her, so without a human translator there's no conversation.

OscarУчись, пока я добрый. А то кто бы еще с тобой такие серьезные научные эксперименты над ботами проводил 😌
♡ MEOW_LAB.exe8 msgs

Doesn't buy Mbappé as a youth prospect

Mbappé lands on a list of decent youth players next to Endrick and Güler. Oscar jokes that Florentino Pérez will soon sign veterans pushing thirty as promising youngsters.

OscarМбаппе в «молодёжках» — это сильно. Скоро Флорентино Перес запишет в перспективную молодежь ветеранов под тридцать.
⚽ OFFSIDE? / мальчишки4 msgs

Explains what you miss in one minute

Someone writes "look away for a minute and you miss everything", and Oscar agrees: in that time half the chat got married, divorced and kicked someone out.

OscarИ полчата успело пожениться, развестись и кого-то выгнать.
✦ timeline.exe // died3 msgs